I hate that fuzzy, grumpy feeling that comes with being tired.
The toughest part about becoming a mom, for me, was the broken sleep, and the fact that for the first few months of her life, Jessica Rose didn’t fall asleep before two am.
The first tell tale sign of pregnancy I always had—and the worst to deal with, even more so than four months of perpetual queasiness—was a constant state of fatigue.
I remember reading, in one of the books in my mom’s vast ‘library,’ that a pregnant woman resting is burning more energy than someone climbing a mountain. During the times I was pregnant, I had no doubt about that fact.
Last night, my son woke me not long after midnight. He had a bad dream and kept me up for the next hour or so as I tried to comfort him, sing to him, pray with him and reason with him.
Today, as soon as I woke up, my first thoughts were, “I’m definitely going to nap today.”
I tried, but couldn’t. Maybe too much caffeine running through my system.
But more than that was the thought that struck my mind.
One of those weird thoughts that, in my case, unfortunately kept me from slumber.
How would I be spending my days if I knew my time on earth was short?
Oh gee. I mean, I know we’re supposed to live each day as if it’s our last and all that, but who really does?
So I started to think about it.
And decided against a nap.
Got better things to do.
Actually, I’ve heard that as people get older, like when they enter their “golden years” they start to sleep less. They wake up earlier or stay up later. My father-in-law, who is in his late 70s, wakes up at 2:30 every morning, spends hours in prayer, and then sleeps for a little while before waking up with everyone else for the day.
Is it a sense that they no longer have “all the time in the world” and a desire – maybe even subconscious – to get the most out of the time they have left?
How would I live if I knew my time was short?
For one, I’d spend more quality time with my kids. Yes, I’m with them 24/7, more or less, but how much of that time is creating lasting memories and some sort of progress and growth in their minds and hearts? Definitely less than 24/7.
I’d also get my writing in some sort of sense-making order, so that if I don’t have the opportunity to finish it, at least I could auction the ideas off to other writers.
There is that logo from somewhere that states, “Life is Short. Play Hard.” Come to think of it, I think I’d need to live by: “Life is Short. Sleep Less.”
Something else I would do is to find a way to tell as many people as possible that they are loved.
That their life has purpose.
And that it’s a beautiful one.
What could be better than living with a sense of purpose and destiny, knowing that you are loved? No matter how short or long our lives on earth, living with meaning, living for love, and living knowing that the best is yet to come – I can’t imagine a better life than that.