Words Written on Day 12: 1,182
Total Words Written for NaNoWriMo: 15,184
The self-doubt started up today with a vengeance. It has been trailing behind me and whispering along the edges of my mind since the beginning of the month, but now it is no longer hiding in the shadows.
“It’s a terrible story line.”
“Your characters are flat. They have no personality.”
“You’ve written yourself into a corner. Where are you going to go now?”
“You’re never going to finish 50,000 words by the end of the month, and if you do, they’ll be the lamest thing you ever written.”
You get the point, I’m sure. The only thing I can really do right now, I believe, is just to write through it. Prove the debilitating thoughts wrong by … well, proving them wrong. By writing. By finishing. By writing my way out of that corner. By working with my characters and listening to them tell me what and who they want to be … and letting them follow the paths they create in my mind. By taking any ideas of plot development as far as it goes just to see where it will take me and whether or not it “works.”
I don’t know how the story is going to turn out. And I don’t have a whole lot of time to think about it either, which is a little bit scary. It’s like ad-libbing (and anyone who knows me knows that isn’t my strong point).
But scary is also exciting. It gives you a rush. Like standing on the edge of a cliff. You see the horizon before you. Feel the wind around you. Whipping your hair. Letting you know you’re alive. Enticing you forward.
And you wonder if you’ll fly or if, like Indiana Jones, ground will appear beneath your feet. One step at a time.
Always one step at a time. But one step is enough.